Descriptions are a tool that writers use to convey feeling. If a character is sad, instead of saying ‘they were sad’ we can SHOW they are sad through the descriptions. So when a writers is describing a girl mourning the loss of her pet cat, they might point out the way the branches of the tree slope sadly, or the flowers bent their heads. But it if was a child who was happy because it was their birthday, the wind would be laughing and the flowers dancing.
In order to practice this, I wrote two paragraphs about a fictional character (June) sitting on a fence outside. Try to notice the difference:
Happy
June sat on the fence, her fingers gripping the white rail as she swung her feet back and forth. The soggy scent was gently wafting over the fields; the smell of rain. For her, the smell of rain was exactly what she thought the eager anticipation would smell like. A drop landed on her nose and she smiled, her cheeks dimpling. Then each drop fell fast and faster, sprinkling out of the watering can of the sky. Her smile turned upward as the stream of water spilled onto her. The droplets ran down her face and wetted her hair. June fluttered her eyelashes as she sat there on the fence, face turned towards the sky, rain coming down, ignoring all common sense about being outside in the rain. She didn’t care.
Sad
June gazed out across the land, lips pressed together, her hair in a tangled messy bun. Her brimming eyes were threatening to overflow. The fog rolled through the surrounding land, creating a curtain of greyness. The dark clouds that had been gathering above made the sky grow a darker shade, and the air began to smell like rain. The scent was wet and tight, full of foreboding. One by one the heavy drops fell from the sky, like the sky itself was crying right along with June. Soon it was pouring in a merciless sheet. June's falling tears mixed with rain as she let herself get soaked. . Strands of hair stuck to her forehead, but she didn’t even brush them away, she just stood there, letting it pour over her. She didn’t care.
So, what do you think? Does it make a difference?
©2025 Hazel Ellis
